Forgiveness
by BridgitKiido
Summary: Judai wants to be alone to wallow in his depression.  But when has that ever stopped Fubuki from seeking someone out?  Speculation for end of season 3, spoilers through episode 143.


**Forgiveness**

by BridgitKiido

Disclaimer: I don't own GX. I'm just an average American teenage girl with too many hyperactive plot bunnies running around. I wonder where they get all that sugar… I certainly haven't been giving it to them…

Timeline note: This fic is set to take place after season 3, and therefore assumes a few things because season 3 hasn't actually ended yet. It assumes that everyone who goes poof in the Dark World in season 3 returns to normal. As such, there are (fairly heavy) spoilers through to episode 144, many details are mere future speculation, and it will probably become slightly AU.

* * *

As soon as everyone had figured out how to return to Duel Academia, Judai had immediately disappeared once again. No one knew exactly where he'd run off to, but the general consensus was that he wanted to be alone after everything that had happened. 

And who could blame him? He probably still blamed himself for everything that had happened, from Johan's initial disappearance (even though it was clearly entirely Yubel's fault) to everyone's exploding during his battle with Bronn (though it was Bronn himself who forced Judai's monsters to attack) and even to O'Brian, Jim, and Edo's effective "deaths" (even though he had hardly been in a position to do anything about those at all).

The last time Judai had dealt with a mental trauma of any even slightly comparable proportions to this, he had lost the ability to see the images on his cards until at least a week later, when he had (though no one had believed him) taken a trip into outer space and met a bunch of alien monster spirits. And that was just from losing one little round of the card game that was the center point of their lives. This new trauma had to be at least ten times worse.

So, everyone simply assumed that he would be found when he wanted to be found, when he was ready to face everyone after everything that had happened, that he assumed was his fault and unforgivable.

Everyone, that is, except for a certain young man who was two years older physically, but probably at least a year behind Judai socially. (The doctors had yet to find a cause for his lack of social development, but then, they also somehow didn't believe that Fubuki had spent a good year and a half of his life with his consciousness suppressed by an evil mask demon named Darkness. They were weird like that…)

The young self-proclaimed Blizzard Prince was well aware that Judai was still trying to work out exactly how to cope with the whole Haou thing, and he wasn't about to let him go through it alone. After all, who else at the Academia had been controlled by an evil spirit and forced to hurt those that he cared about?

…Well, technically, he hadn't actually _known_ Judai until _after_ the whole Darkness thing… but if things had gone differently, he _would_ have been forced to go after his sister next…

…and yeah, technically there _had_ been the whole Kessha thing… but Manjoume was in permanent denial that any of those events had transpired, and Saiou was still in the hospital...

Anyway.

Fubuki knew the layout of the island pretty well, so he knew all of the spots where one would be most likely to go to sit and think. So, after about an hour's worth of searching…

("Brother, what are you doing?" Asuka asked as she noticed Fubuki sneaking by with a grey sheet wrapped around himself.

"I am a ninja, on a secret mission," was Fubuki's answer. His sister couldn't quite tell if he was just playing or actually being serious about the whole ninja thing.

Asuka sighed; there was no convincing her brother to abandon his goals once he'd set his mind on something. "Well, just don't bother Judai-kun too much then when you find him. And remember, dinner's in an hour. Please don't be late again…")

…he managed to find his red-clad classmate.

* * *

Judai did not particularly want to be found. 

That was why he was sitting on the rooftop of the Osiris dorm, after all, right next to the place where the original dorm met Manjoume's addition. He liked high places, but he didn't dare go to his usual haunt atop the main building. After all, even if no one else did, Johan knew all about that one… Besides, this gave him a better view of the ocean, and staring off at the waves helped him think.

He was not expecting anyone to find him, which was why he jumped when he heard a familiar voice calling his name. He would not have jumped had the source of that voice mysteriously materialized right next to him.

"F-Fubuki-san!" Judai managed to say as his new companion smiled.

"What'cha doing up here, Judai-kun?" Fubuki asked, and the boy in red curled his knees close to his chest and wrapped his arms around them.

"Please… Fubuki-san, I just want to be alone."

"You're still feeling guilty about the whole thing in the Dark World, aren't you." It was more of a statement than a question, but either way, it was slightly unexpected for Fubuki to cut directly to the chase like that.

When Judai didn't answer, Fubuki wrapped his arm around the boy's shoulders and continued, "You do realize that none of us blame you for anything that's happened, right?"

"Well, you should," Judai responded, keeping his head down and fighting back tears. "If it wasn't for me, none of this would have happened. No one would have had to die in those life-or-death duels – "

"We're not dead, Judai-kun…"

Judai continued as though he hadn't heard. "Kaiser wouldn't be in the hospital right now – "

"That heart attack had nothing to do with being in the Dark World. Ryo was electrocuting himself – that damages one's nerves, apparently…"

"…and you all would still be able to trust me."

"We still do."

Judai's reply was close to a scream, and he could no longer prevent the tears from flowing in buckets. "How can you still trust me after everything I've done? I-I effectively betrayed you all… I could have done more, to prevent Bronn from capturing you, to prevent you from being absorbed into that book of his… but I didn't, and I gave in to Haou's false promises…"

Fubuki could only sit and watch as the usually bubbly Osiris Red student burst into a fresh fit of tears, unable to say any more. He thought for a moment, and then he suddenly thought of something and fished around inside his jacket for something. And then, of all things, he pulled out a single card. Looking at the card, he said, "You know, Judai-kun, we didn't go to the Dark World because you asked us to – in fact, if I recall correctly, you were trying to persuade us to stay behind. We went of our own free will, because we wanted to help you. Therefore, it was our own responsibilities to keep ourselves safe. Not yours, not anyone else's."

Before Judai could reply, Fubuki pushed the card he was holding – the Red Eyes Darkness Dragon – in front of the teenager's face. "You're also not the only one to make a huge mistake in the hopes that it will save a friend. I did that with Ryo, and don't forget when Asuka tried to help Manjoume-kun."

Judai's tears stopped abruptly, but then he turned his face in the opposite direction. Fubuki, however, returned the dragon card to its spot in his jacket before he took Judai's chin in his hand and pulled the teenager's head until he was forced to face him. "If we were to not forgive you for this, we would, in effect, prevent ourselves from being forgiven of all the things we've done." Fubuki then smiled one of his trademark goofy smiles. "And besides, we're your friends. Friends always forgive their friends, no matter what."

Judai looked down, purposefully avoiding the Blizzard Prince's gaze. "I don't deserve to be anyone's friend."

Fubuki sighed. "Well then, what about Manjoume-kun? Don't tell me you haven't forgiven him for what he did as White Thunder." Fubuki didn't mention the small fact that, admittedly, he himself still had one or two things he had yet to forgive his young protégé of… but that was mostly Saiou's fault anyway, he reasoned.

Judai immediately replied in earnest, "None of _that_ was Manjoume's fault! He was brainwashed by that Saiou guy. Everything he did, it was because Saiou told him to. There's nothing to forgive _him_ for… and even if there is, I forgive him for it."

Fubuki nodded. "And _you_ were brainwashed by that Haou thing. It's the same exact concept. Even if there's something that you need to be forgiven for, which I doubt, we all forgive you."

At that comment, Judai's eyes opened widely, as if realizing something he hadn't thought of before, but before he could respond, Fubuki finished, "I know it's going to take you a while to get over this, regardless of whether you believe me or not. But if you need someone to talk to about this, you know where my room is." Thinking for a moment, he stated on a completely separate tangent, "You know, I wonder what would happen if you used that Super Fusion card with my Red Eyes Darkness Dragon and that White Night Lord that Manjoume-kun had."

Judai looked up at Fubuki and attempted to smile. "Thanks, Fubuki-san."

"Don't worry about it." The Obelisk student smiled before noticing something. Judai's eyes were considerably different from usual. Before, they'd been round, inquisitive, and always happy-go-lucky. But now, they seemed to be more closed, as though they held inerasable pain. Well, they did, technically, but that wasn't the point.

"Your eyes are just as 'squinty' as mine now…" Fubuki muttered.

"Huh?" Judai replied, not having heard the actual sentence but knowing that his senior had said something.

"Nothing, Judai-kun," Fubuki replied with a smile as he made his way to the edge of the roof. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I only have a couple minutes until I'm late to dinner and Asuka kills me."

And then, the Blizzard Prince disappeared beneath the gutter, leaving Judai to his own thoughts once more.

_And then,_ thought Fubuki as he walked, _I'll go see where Johan-kun is hiding. I haven't seen him all day either._

* * *

_Author's Note: I really need to stop writing these one-shots…but you have to admit, Judai's eyes in episode 144 were slightly more closed than usual. That might have just been exhaustion and fever, but…_

_If you didn't get the whole 'squinty' thing… umm… that refers to another oneshot I wrote, called _Squinty...


End file.
